"and all through the town Not a student was drinking, not a frat made a sound The adderall popped and the coffee was drank In hopes that your mind wont’ suddenly blank The guys and the chicks depart from their beds While visions of passing danced around in their heads Crammed cafes and library…
I wouldn’t have an exact answer, because to be honest, there isn’t a real reason why i do. There’s just something about you. Your personality, the way you smile, or your humor. Something about you catches my attention & draws me to you.
I know what I like when I see it. I just can’t explain it.
“I’m a paradox. I want to be happy, but I think of things that make me sad. I’m lazy, yet I’m ambitious. I don’t like myself, but I also love who I am. I say I don’t care, but I really do. I crave attention, but reject it when it comes my way. I’m a conflicted contradiction. If I can’t figure myself out, there’s no way anyone else has.”—unknown (via allandme)
i am soo lost right now. I dont know what to do with my life anymore. I keep screwing up and making wrong decision with my life. I am failing the people I promise to help, but in the end I failed them. I feel disppointed in myself and ashamed to all the decisions I made. Everyday, i constantly disappoint myself. I feel like my family is disappointed in me. They count on me to help them but I failed them. I am just here on the computer, doing random crap and not doing anything productive. I hate myself for making wrong decisions and not changing myself. I brought myself down and isolate myself from everybody. I keep everything to myself and put a fake smile on everyday. Life sucks, well i am making it suck… Stupid me. Sigh, o wells.. I keep going because of the people I love. I just cant stand making another stupid decision. I am living a life full of regrets and it haunts me everyday. I sit alone, with my head full of regrets and just trying to make myself better than before. But it is not working. It sucks, things really changed for me and I never felt so low in life. IDK what to do.. i guess i will just try to be strong and just make it to the end. I hope I can make it….
Lifes getting to difficult for me to handle. I dont know what to do anymore. I am mentally destroyed. My thoughts and actions is killing me. I just wish I can just end it all but I cant do that. I continue because I cant give that sense of sadness to the people i love. So, i just sit here in my pain and just wait. I tried to change, but I am just failing it. I am just a failure in life… -.-